


the bad years

by lostin_space



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, POV Michael Guerin, negative mentions of the hellscape that was s2 michael behavior, the lost decade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29805711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostin_space/pseuds/lostin_space
Summary: “It’s not like I want to leave,” Alex said, “I have to. You know I have to.”“Yeah,” Michael breathed, squeezing his hand and sighing softly, “When are you coming back?”“I don’t know yet, probably around a year.”ORA few scenes through the years before they get their shit together and then one where it is.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 11
Kudos: 64





	the bad years

Michael tapped his foot on the ground loudly.

“Stop,” Alex snapped, his hand going to his knee and  _ squeezing.  _ The pressure helped. He started wondering if he could ask Alex to lay on him, but that was probably a bad idea considering they were in the middle of an airport.

Instead, he layered his hand on top of Alex’s and squeezed.

“I don’t have any money or a credit score, but I’ll find a way to take out a loan just to pay you to stay,” Michael told him. However, when Alex looked at him, he had a hurt look in his eye and his eyebrows were drawn together like Michael had just insulted him. “I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to go. But I’m sorry.”

“It’s not like I  _ want  _ to leave,” Alex said, “I have to. You know I have to.”

“Yeah,” Michael breathed, squeezing his hand and sighing softly, “When are you coming back?”

“I don’t know yet, probably around a year.”

“That’s such bullshit.”

“Yeah.”

Michael stayed there, squeezing his hand until his got cramps. Alex never complained. They waited until Alex had to go to his flight because it was about to board. They stood and Alex hugged him tight, but didn’t give him a kiss. Not here, not in public. And then he was gone.

Michael sat in the airport for another hour, trying to remember how his legs worked.

-

“Are you mad at me?”

“Michael,” Alex said softly, reaching out to touch his cheek. Michael stayed on his knees between Alex’s spread legs, hands gripping his ankles as his mind flooded with  _ thoughts  _ he didn’t want. Such bad timing too. He was always, always, always hit at the worst times. 

“I know, like,  _ objectively  _ you’re not mad at me, but also…”

“Hey,” Alex said, leaning forward until all Michael could see was his face. It was a nice view. “Let’s promise that if we’re ever mad at each other or if there’s anything wrong, we’ll say it. That way there’s no question, how’s that sound?”

“So you do get mad at me sometimes?” Michael clarified. Alex huffed a laugh and bumped his nose against Michael’s softly.

“Everyone gets mad at everyone if they spend enough time together. And I want to spend so much time with you that the bad times pale in comparison, okay?” Alex said. Michael stared at him, trying to breath and stay calm to the best of his ability. It was hard.

“We’re still in the bad times. You’re still going to be shipped off to fuck knows where and I’m still here,” Michael said. Alex slid off the bed and right into Michael’s lap on the floor. He grabbed Michael’s head in his hands and stared at him.

The airstream was too small for this but Michael didn’t want to leave.

“I’m here right now. Three more years and I’ll be here for good.”

Michael swallowed his complaints and nodded, putting his head in the crook of Alex’s neck.

-

“Damn. It’s dusty.”

“Here’s a broom.”

“Oh, so you brought me here to be your maid, I see,” Michael scoffed, accepting the broom anyway, “If I had a head’s up, maybe I would’ve dressed the part.”

“Shut up and sweep,” Alex said, trying his best to smile and failing. Michael accepted it for the joke it was anyway and started sweeping. “God, I can’t believe he left the cabin to me. I wasn’t even his kid.”

“I’m sure he left Kyle somethin’ good. Or maybe not. That’d be funny,” Michael said. Alex rolled his eyes and slowly walked around the couch. Michael didn’t argue when he wrapped his arms around him from behind and effectively made it impossible to sweep. He layered his hand over Alex’s. “He loved you, Alex. That’s what mattered.”

“Yeah, but… A whole cabin?”

“You really find it that hard to believe?” Michael asked. Alex didn’t answer which was enough of an answer in itself. “Now you have somewhere to go that isn’t my airstream.”

“What if I  _ want  _ to just go to your airstream?”

“I’m not gonna kick you out.”

“Good.”

After a little persuasion, Alex took a much needed nap and Michael got to cleaning.

-

“Okay, don’t freak out.”

“Don’t freak out?! You’re calling me and telling me that Alex‒ That he‒”

“He is alive and breathing and that’s all that matters,” Greg said methodically. Michael recognized the tone of voice. The one that Alex did when it was the only thing holding him together. Out of respect for the second most decent member of the Manes family tree, Michael didn’t call him out on it.

“And he’s gonna be okay? Like… after.”

“The surgery went well and he should be able to get a prosthetic leg. There’s always a chance that it’ll hurt him too much or that his nerves will be too sensitive for it or whatever, but, for right now, that’s the route we’re going,” Greg explained.

“But, like, mentally, I mean. Is he gonna be okay?” Michael said. His hand was gripping his leg so tight that when he finally moved it, he had little crescents that his fingernails had left. They looked deep enough to bruise. 

“He’ll be in therapy, but I don’t know past that. Everyone’s different,” Greg said, “But Alex is strong.”

Michael swallowed and took a deep breath. “Yeah. He is.  _ Fuck,  _ I wish I could be there.”

“It’s okay. I’ll let him know you called and tell him that you love him.”

“I didn’t say that,” Michael argued weakly. He hadn’t even said those words to Alex’s face, how fucked would it be if his brother told him that first?

“Okay, fine, I’ll tell him it  _ seemed  _ like you love him. And I’ll text you the address to the nearest florist so you can buy him flowers,” Greg said.

“You’re such a dick.”

“And I’ll send you how to request them in German.”

“Fuck you,” Michael said, sniffling and trying to rub the indents out of his leg, “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

-

“I know you loved me. At one point, I know you did.”

Michael felt sick, but he stayed still as Alex kept his eyes on his computer. It was intentional and Michael could tell.

“I  _ still  _ love you.”

“But you did stop.”

“No! No, I  _ didn’t. _ ”

“Then why haven’t you apologized to me?” Alex asked, voice monotone in the same way it was when he was keeping it together. He started typing in code effortlessly as if this conversation didn’t phase him. Thankfully, Michael was fully aware that it  _ did  _ phase him or he probably would’ve lost it. “Every time you’ve apologized to me in my life was over things that didn’t require an apology. Now I want one because you hurt me‒intentionally, as far as I can tell‒and you won’t even say sorry.”

“I  _ am  _ sorry. I was just confused and overwhelmed and I thought it would be better if I‒” 

“I did buy that at one point, but I’m not so sure anymore,” Alex said, sighing and tilting his head to one shoulder and then the other to stretch his neck, “Because you repeatedly showed interest in me when it was convenient for you and then went right back to your girlfriend. That wasn’t fair. I don’t believe that you didn’t know what you were doing.”

“I’m  _ sorry,  _ Alex. I fucked up and I know sorry doesn’t fix it, but I want to be with you and I want to make up for it,” Michael said, trying his best to copy him and keep his composure.

He was never as good at it as Alex was.

“Prove it to me then. Show me.”

And that was a challenge Michael was ready to take on.

-

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Wow, you need to expand your vocabulary.”

“ _ You  _ need to get your cold foot out of my pants,” Michael groaned, trying to wiggle away and failing. Alex just snickered to himself like it was the funniest thing.

“My foot is cold and you’re so warm,” Alex said.

“Yeah, but  _ down my pants?”  _ Michael asked.

“Your thighs are, like, the warmest part of you. Trust me, I’ve spent a lot of time there,” Alex laughed, scooting towards him. His hand snaked around and pressed against Michael’s abdomen which just made him hiss again.

“Why are you so cold everywhere?!”

“Because it’s cold outside and you’re a blanket hog,” Alex answered easily, his mouth pressing to the back of his neck. That, at least, was warm. “Warm me up.”

Michael laid there for a few seconds, trying to wake up enough to do just that. He focused on the feeling of his lips on his neck and then turned around, yanking him in all the way. Surprised laughter rang out of Alex’s body and through the air and Michael kissed him harder.

This. This was worth everything.


End file.
